Working Through Communication Challenges

Have you found yourself in conversations where you think you are being clear (and others think they are being clear with you) and  there is a miscommunication? Sometimes I find myself baffled when there is a disconnect. 

I am by no means the best communicator or listener. To be honest, I think I feel too much and could have a more logical approach to things. That’s where being a part of a team/marriage comes in to play. Craig and I have been married 32 years (35 together) and we work together. We are with each other 24/7 in all aspects of life. We are blessed to have this opportunity and do not take it for granted, but it does come with its challenges. Craig is logical, I am a feeler. We think it’s a good balance, however, it brings its own challenges.

When this occurs I have to pause and ask myself several questions. Hopefully using this method will help you as well as we all want to be heard AND understood.

• Was I being a good listener in this conversation?

• Do I listen more than I speak?

• WAIT - Why Am I Talking?

• Do I have something to say or do I just want to say something?

• THINK - are my words True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary (in the right timing), Kind

• Am I complaining/venting?

• Is what I am saying encouraging/blessing others & building them up or am I tearing others down and hurting others?

• Do I really need to make that point or is it just opinion and it really can go either way? (Do I want to die on that hill?)

• Not everything I feel needs to be said. Pause. Wait. You can’t take words back once they’ve left the tongue.

In all vulnerability,  hope this article is a helpful hint to you and you will be able to take it to heart and apply some of these principles. 

ames 1:19 Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to anger.

Proverbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue.