How to Ruin Your Relationships in Three Easy Steps

1) Be distracted on your phone when you’re with others. 

What this communicates: Whatever is on your phone is more important, exciting, engaging, or likable than the person your'e with. You are too lazy, timid, or phone-addicted to figure out how to engage.

2) Don’t reciprocate.

What this communicates: You don’t care to continue the relationship. You didn’t enjoy or appreciate the last time you connected. You’d prefer not to spend any more time with them in the future. 

3) Don’t ask any questions, only talk about what interests you.

What this communicates: You are not curious about them and may even think they are boring, burdensome or both.

Before you tune out, let’s pause. I admit my own failure here. I really, really don’t want to communicate any of those things to the people in my life, or even to strangers. That’s why we are camping out here today–to be intentional with the things we do (remember how short life is?). Okay, let’s resume. We’re all occasionally guilty of these offenses, but if you find yourself practicing them frequently, then it’s time to pivot, assuming you’d like to preserve your current relationships. 

You may be thinking, “yes, I do all of those things, but I have important texts from work to read, or I’m going through a difficult time so that’s why I’m talking a lot, or I am so busy right now that I don’t have time to reciprocate texts, lunch dates, or phone calls”. That's called life! Those things are real, valid, and common. But we CAN walk and chew gum. We are able to balance our own needs as well as be kind to others at the same time. If there’s a special circumstance you're dealing with, communicate that openly to your loved ones. Ruinous habits form without us knowing. Today is a perfect day to self assess and reroute where needed. 

Thanks to the Intentional Home with Gretchen for the article.